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Allah's Muslim Terrorist Job Openings in America

Allah's Muslim Terrorist Job Openings
By: Dave Gaubatz
23 Feb 2015

Letter From CAIR National Communications Director Dougie Hooper to Mujahadeen in America
23 Feb 2015

Praise be to Allah and to all the mujahadeen around the world. My fellow Islamic terrorists. As you know we have Islamic based organizations around the world. Our leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has decided that all Islamic based terrorist groups and their followers immediately begin using the name Allah's Muslim Terrorists (AMT). This will eliminate confusion among the mujahadeen. Many have wrote CAIR and have stated they do not know which Islamic group to follow. Our answer is to follow AMT and we will eliminate the other names for the mujahadeen groups.

You realize CAIR (now named AMT National HQ) is the organizational group of Islamic terrorists and supporters responsible for directing operations within America. It has been our duty since June 1994 to provide communication and strategies to our AMT friends operating in America. We have always been on the side of doing what Allah directs. We are inspired from Allah's great Jihad works.

It is my pleasure to inform you that we will be the responsible office for listing new jobs in the AMT organization. We will screen all applicants. When you apply for an open position, please provide proof of your loyalty to Islam, Sharia law, and to AMT. Our motto is "destroy the"world, eliminate all Jews and Christians, kill innocent men, women, and children. In addition you must pledge your support to AMT that you will pray to Allah for new methods of killing our enemy. Brother Baghdadi can't do all the work. His method of burning a man alive was outstanding, but we are losing TV and Internet viewers because we can't keep up with the ever present need to make the next murder even worse than the last.

The following AMT jobs are currently open and will be listed until filled:

Director of AMT for America
Note: To be qualified for this job you must have killed at least 100 non believers. Video support to verify your claim will be needed)

Assistant Directors for each of the 50 States
Note: Same as for the Director position, but 50 kills will be accepted.

Uranium Experts
Note: You must have graduated with a PHS from one of America's liberal colleges

Biological Experts
Same as Uranium experts qualifications

Director of Miscommunication
Note: If you have worked for a liberal media organization in America you may qualify. The successful applicant will study under Myself (Hooper) before you will be granted a certificate qualifying for this job.

Undercover Informant inside the White House
Note: Our American leader President Obama will interview all candidates for this position.

Street level AMT Mujahadeen
Note: We already have several thousand mujahadeen fighters in America. We are looking to fill 50,000 more.

Suicide Bombers
Note: You must be at least 6 years old (male or female) to be qualified for this position. No experience required.

Wife for Mujahadeens
Note: As our Prophet Muhammed directed the candidate for wife requires the female to be a child who is at least 6 years old. As Mohammed dictates the female child must consent to the marriage. If she does not consent she can be taken as a slave or concubine.

Note: If you make a successful referral, you will be provided two slaves as your reward.

Please complete a resume and mail directly to me (Hooper) at the AMT HQ National Office.

Electronically signed
Dougie Hooper

noun: satire
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature;


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